Stephen R. Covey demonstrates how a paradigm shift can help you achieve the big things on your to-do lists while managing the little things. He showed the importance of putting the big rocks in first to accommodate the smaller, less important ones. He reached under the table and pulled out a wide-mouthed gallon jar. He set it on the table next to a platter with some fist-sized rocks on it. “How many of these rocks do you think we can get in the jar?” he asked.
After the crowd made their guess, he said, “Okay. Let’s find out.” He set one rock in the jar . . . then another . . . then another, until he got the jar full. Then he asked, “Is this jar full?” Everyone looked at the rocks and said, “Yes.”
He then said, “Ahhh, not so fast”. He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar and the gravel went in all the little spaces left by the big rocks. Thereafter he grinned and said once more, “Is the jar full?”
The participants who were smarter now from experience said; “Probably not,”. “Good!” he replied. Then He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand and started dumping the sand in the Jar. It went into all of the little spaces left by the rocks and the gravel. Once more he looked and said, “Is this jar full?” “No!” they roared.
He said, “Good!” He grabbed a pitcher of water and poured it in. He got something like a quart of water in that jar. Then he said, ” Well, what’s the point?”
Somebody said, “Well, there are gaps, and if you work really hard you can always fit some more things into your life.”
“No,” he said, “that’s not really the point. The point is this: Put the Big Rocks in first.
This Jar is our life. The fist-sized rocks are the important things – our physical and mental health, our family, our life partner and children – anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, it would make a big impact on your life and you would be nearly destroyed. The gravels are the other things in life that matter but are lesser than the above ones. The gravels represent things like your career, job, house, friends, social connections or car. The sand is everything else, the other “small stuff” in life.
“If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks.” That’s why the point is – “Put the Big Rocks in First”. I hope now we understand, the same goes for our lives. If we spend all our energy and time on the lesser important small stuff and materialistic things, we will never have space for the things that are truly most important. Pay attention to the things that are important in your life and spend time on the important ones.
Yours sincerely for a traffic-free world
More updates on the individual lives of those Purnata serves:
Pari: She has given 10,000 to her so-called husband for her mother’s treatment. When she asked for it back, he used vulgar words on the phone with her. One day he was drunk and called her mentioning that he was coming. He came late at night and he Pritam very well making her feel everything is now normal between them. At night, while she was sleeping, he stole another 10,000/ and ran away the same night. We encouraged her to file a complaint against him. But she hasn't gone to the police station.
This is the story of so many of the women we serve. In their hunger for love, they trust men and end up cheated, lied to and taken advantage of.
Meera from Nepal is 34 years of age now, was brought into the RLA as a teenager. She was first sold in Delhi and then she has been to several different RLA's before ending up in the present place. She remembers how when she was pregnant with her first child in Pune in 2018, her husband who was a drunkard used to get drunk and beat her up. She managed and tried to adjust with him but finally she just left him and came here. Her son is now studying in Nepal. She has a desire to drive and earn her living. She currently comes to us for literacy classes. Though we have offered her the opportunity, it will take time for her to trust us and take the step.
There are so many other young girls like Meera who are hesitant to take the plunge and move out of prostitution to a life of dignity.
A young orphan girl of only 20 has a dream of becoming a chef. She has been through hell as a child and being the eldest of three siblings, had the burden to care for them too. She has come a long way. with a lot more to go. Being uneducated is to her disadvantage. We at Purnata are determined to help fulfil her dreams. She has seen the opportunity to work at a coffee shop in partnership with Vivace cafe and also at various 5-star hotels through a partnership with Yuva Parivartan. However, the 5-star hotels won't give her cooking experience but offer her housekeeping. We are still looking out for a hotel management course but there too a minimum of 10th grade is needed. She/we need wisdom and clarity for the best course of action for her future.
Seema has been with us for more than six months and is an excellent seamstress. She had been struggling with TB. In spite of all the care and medication, it has not made a very big impact. She also has a lump on her chest which is very hurtful. We have taken her to Kurla Bhabha Hospital and then will be taking her to Bhabha Hospital to decide the next course of action.
Though she was with us and we processed her driving course, training and license, she had left us to be working from her home. In spite of accepting her ideas and being nice to her, she often chose to do things her way. However, we have not given up on her. Recently a test drive of three and four-wheelers was completed at Wadala RTO where she drove the three-wheeler (auto) properly compared to the four-wheeler. She will be getting her license in 20 days.
Kirtina has been running her own food business. She has been supplying food to various office-goers in a certain area and has been doing well. Recently, she has shifted to Kalyan, and she is planning to set up a new food stall in the area there. Currently, she is taking small orders and working on these orders at home, her daughter is in Bhandup and her education is progressing well. Kirtina's health is good.
Somaya is a young 24-year-old girl whom we helped complete her 12th grade and is now pursuing her dream. She has a dream of joining the police force. She is currently training and preparing for Maharashtra Police Exams. Her practical ground exam was on 15th February but the result is not out yet because the ground exams are still going on. Only after the practical exams, the theory exams will also take place but their dates are not yet out. She did not attend classes on Monday and Tuesday this week. Her health has been good and her ground practice will continue till the results.
We are looking at helping many more like Somaya to fulfil their dreams and ambitions. We want to help restore their ability to dream and reach what may seem impossible, with the right amount of encouragement and love.
Kirti’s doing very well at Smit Salon and she is very happy. She keeps getting tips. The other day she was so excited when a client gave her a tip of Rs 700. Her mother had helped her buy new utensils and also bought her a nice new smartphone. This week Kirti's health was not well as she was having a fever. She is taking the medicines the doctor has prescribed.
She is now learning to live out in the world with others. She is currently living with four other girls she met at a hostel, in a rented room in Sakinaka. They jointly and equally bear the expenses, with one girl's contribution at Rs.2800/- per month, including Rs.1800 for room rent and Rs.1000 for ration. Small steps of independence but monitored by us from a distance to assure them we, their family are with them.
Bharti is doing garment trimming work in Asalfa and going to work every day. Her speed has increased and she is doing well. Staying with Mohini, sharing a room and doing household chores has been a good experience towards independence. She is mindful of her hospital routine check every month and taking her medication well. Her health has been good. She looks forward to working with Purnata to help other women like her.
Mohini is waiting for her exit visa to be repatriated back to her country, Bangladesh. She is currently working as a garment trimmer in Asalfa and goes to work every day. She shares a home with Bharti and both are involved in doing household chores. Mohini has become more focused on work, though she tends to lose interest in work often, wondering when she will be able to go back to her country and join her family. Her wait has constantly been prolonged due to various reasons beyond all of us and so it hasn't been easy. She is really a pilgrim waiting to go back to her land and be with her family.
Sakshi has been going to work since last month when she found a housemaid job nearby, and she gets Rs 10,000 per month. Also she said her daughter has now come to live with her. Her daughter was married in Rajasthan but left her husband. Her daughter is working as a manager in a company and earning Rs. 15000/- per month. Sometime back, she threw her husband out of the house when he abused her badly. They moved out and are currently living in a rented house with her children. Her health is bad and the medicines are going on. It was so nice to hear from her that now even if she fell sick, she doesn't have any tension because she is earning and able to take care of her family's expenses.
We are so grateful for women who have moved on to be independent of us.
Amoli, the social enterprise we run, has been temporarily kept on freeze. We are reworking some of our business plans and looking forward to restarting it soon.
Priya and her two sons are all healthy, both are going to school. Priya is going to a tailor near her house for cutting work. Priya would like to re-join Amoli when it restarts.
Nilima lives in Nalasopara with her friend and is doing small jobs like garment trimming. She has no physical problems apart from occasional headaches and body pains. She too is waiting for Amoli to restart.
Aarthi's health is good, and she is going to learn cutting skills near her home. She too is waiting to join Amoli once it restarts.
Some More Snippets:
# Nine teens at Jeevan Asha and 15 at Aashray are regular for football. Chottu who has been addicted to drugs is showing interest and may also join. Our team is encouraging Prashant to take sports and culinary courses and he has been responding positively with interest.
# We distribute T-Shirts to 17 children sponsored by the Harvest Church community. Mr Cecil Cerejo and Mr Sunil came and helped us to distribute them.
We have launched an online crowdfunding campaign on Ketto to gather 20 lakhs to cover a shortfall in our resources here in Purnata. We now have 64 individual donors and 26 fundraisers and have raised ₹3,14,953. We want to exceed our goal by adding more fundraisers in the following weeks. To learn more click here.
Thank you for your continued support. Together, we can make a difference. I hope you’ll take the time to look at our website at www.purnata.org and the regular updates we put on social media via our handle @Purnataorg. As always, feedback is welcome and encouraged.